Funny Quotes

One of the important substances for a satisfied life is laughing out loud. Funny quotes in their own easy way increase the humour quotient in our lives. Short funny quotes with their use of words and ideas make you laugh. You can share them with anyone and everyone. Or you can just use them to make a point. Many of the best funny quotes are by some well- known people, who uttered these words in order to put forth their ideas and opinions. Also these funny quotes have some great hidden meaning and facts about life. So if you ever feel low; take a refuge in these funny quotes to pick yourself up and curse the world without offending anyone.

You can even text some of the funny quotes to your fellow workers and friends during a busy day. Starting your day with some funny quotes will make sure you have a shiny and pleasant beginning to the day. So just pick out some hilarious and funny quotes and paste them on the wall of your room.  Furthermore if you are wondering how to begin a discussion with someone you like. Share some of the intelligent and funny quotes and crack the ice. These one-liners always have a component of comedy and wit that keep the things light. So read out some witty and funny quotes when you take a java crack in the workplace or when your professor is boring you to death.

Let us look at some of the best funny quotes that you can use to save your life and energise yourself to take the bitterness of life.

Best Funny Quotes

• If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. – Albert Einstein
• A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck
• A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. – George Bernard Shaw
• A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. – Bob Hope
• Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working with one.- Bill Gates
• If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.- George Globol
• I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.
• A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” – Claude Pepper
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner
• A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld
• A word to the wise isn’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby
• All men are equal before fish. – Herbert Hoover
• All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. – Casey Stengel
• It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.-Steven Weinberg
• Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr
• When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
• Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. – Groucho Marx
• As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett
• As I get older, I just prefer to knit. – Tracey Ullman
• Be obscure clearly. – E. B. White
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey
• Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. – Erma Bombeck
• Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -George Burns
• We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before police.
• He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
• Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? – Phyllis Diller
• They’ve finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.-Milton Berle
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin
• Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
• If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.
• Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.
• Well-behaved women rarely make history.
• GOD created the world; everything else is made in china.