Heart breaks and let downs are a part and parcel of life but the worst part is when a loved one leaves you, who you thought of spending your life with. Here you will find an answer to ‘How can I mend a broken heart after a bad break up?’ But to heal your broken heart., you will first have to understand the reasons and emotions behind the pain. Every person goes through several stages of break up, which are nothing but the emotions and thoughts that dominate your mind at a particular stage.
A break up is characterised by pain and mixed emotions of confusion, loneliness and sadness. You want to get over the person and at the same time you want your ex back in your life. One moment you feel perfectly fine and suddenly you feel suffocated due to the emptiness in your life. Understanding these stages of break up is crucial to find a cure for a broken heart. Because at every stage the emotions are different and to mend a broken heart all the negative sentiments has to be treated separately.
The several stages of break up are defined in the next section. The mentioned below break up stages may not be in the same order as you are going through right now but these surely correspond to most of the emotions you are experiencing.
Stages of a Break Up
- Shock- If you are on the receiving end of the break up then it might be shocking for you. It is the natural reaction of a human mind to sudden pain. Try to be relaxed and let the reality sink in. Meditation and long walks can help you to calm yourself but don’t freak out and damage yourself.
- Denial- Your heart can not accept it and you still want to live in the happy moments you shared with your ex. Sometimes you might tend to think that your rejection of the fact may reunite you and bring the good old days of romance and fun back to your life again. But the fact is, this relationship has fallen out, nothing can be done now. You might be trying to connect with him/her through all the possible means, may be via social networking sites or over the phone. But it is all in vague; instead it will simply diminish your self-respect. But if you still want to talk to your ex, just keep the conversation casual and general.
- Bargaining- You are tired of being apart and can do anything to get your lost love back. You want to negotiate with your ex and can go to extreme levels to strike a deal to normalise everything. But this will do no good to mend your broken heart instead you will lose your self- respect and individuality. To cure your broken heart create a ‘self-love’ list complete with what makes you happy and things you want for your future. Do not include wanting your ex back in the above list!
- Depression- During this broken heart stage, the feelings of hopelessness, helplessness and sadness will dominate your mind all the time. All you think about is your past and feel that your present and future are ruined. To mend your broken heart, spend time with your friends and take special care of your health.
- Isolation- Every person who wants to mend a broken heart feels that shutting out the world will save them from any more pain or deception by others. You don’t like to talk to anyone and the entire world seems useless to you. All you do is recall the past days and try to know the weak points or your mistakes which eroded your lovely relationship. But there is no point in thinking about that. Go out and socialise and don’t ever pity yourself and think negatively.
- Anger- Anyone dealing with a broken heart goes through this stage; it is a natural transition from sadness to anger. You pinpoint his/her part in the break up. You might feel like burning his or her pictures and slandering him/her. But just calm down and think what good will it do to be violent. Learning the lesson and moving on will be a more sensible and dignified thing.
- Acceptance- It is the final stage when you are dealing with a broken heart, where you accept the fact and are ready to pursue your life further. Celebrate your resilience that got you through the worst stages of broken heart and move on.