Relationships don’t always go according to our plan or the way we expected them to be, but then again nothing in life does. Sometimes you meet the right person and things go to goody-goody land and sometimes you end up with a totally messed up scenario (read: constant bickering, continuous fights and zero understanding) and that’s when you know things are not going to work out. That’s actually the point when you realise that this relationship was just not meant to be or in some cases was just one huge mistake you made. If these thoughts constantly go through your mind I guess it’s time for you to break up. Break ups need to be handled like a science and are a very delicate procedure so you cannot afford mistakes, so if you don’t know what to do keep reading for the best way to end a relationship.
Breakups are a necessary evil and you’re not doing yourself or your not-so-significant-anymore other any favors by avoiding it or making yourself think that things can still be redeemed. When a relationship has run its course you will know if the person you are with is the right person or not and when you do; the best thing you can do for both yourself and your partner is to end things because then you won’t be able to return the feelings he/she has for you and that’s not fair to them.
Keep reading for the best way to end a relationship that has run its course and can only end up in misery.
Ways to End a Relationship
1. Tell them you need you need to talk, but make sure they’re not under the impression that its a date or things will get awkward really fast and you’ll feel like a jerk. Keep in mind that it is always best to do the deed in person. Texts, E-mails, letters and phone calls are a coward’s way out and the only reason you can use them is if you know for certain that he/she is prone to a violent outburst (which is incidentally also a good reason to break up). Also respect them enough and don’t tell anybody else about the breakup before the breakup.
2. Pick a neutral location for the deed. Make sure that you’re not breaking up with them at your favourite restaurant or the park where you first met or any place of any significant importance. Otherwise you will project that you have absolutely no regard for the time you’ve spent together and you’re deliberately trying to hurt them. Also sometimes it might give them an opportunity to coax you into second guessing your decision. A simple line like “remember that time we came here……” and you’re stuck for another month of trying to make things work. Also keep in mind that the place is not public or it’ll just be embarrassing for him/her.
3. No matter what the circumstances never ever break up during a fight or anytime you are emotional and not thinking clearly. Firstly the whole emotional state will end up with you saying things just for the sake of hurting him/her and end things on very bad terms and avoid each other for the rest of your lives, secondly, this might come off as something that you said in the heat of the moment and that it doesn’t count which is also not good because then you’ll have to do the whole exercise all over again and it was bad enough the first time.
4. Now it is obvious that they’ll get emotional and cry and the tears are never a good sight but no matter what happens don’t get swayed by emotions. You have to stay firm, you are allowed to hold their hand (just hold it firmly do not caress their hand) but that’s it. No matter how tempted you are to wipe their tears don’t do it. Do not send mixed signals or they’ll never move forward. If he/she starts getting angry you need to maintain your calm. They might say things like “you’ll never get anyone better than me” or “you don’t deserve me” don’t respond to that they’re probably doing this to make themselves feel better. If at any point you feel like they’re getting violent and you feel that you’re in danger calmly walk out and away from him/her.
5. Do not, under any circumstances, play the blame game. Try to keep your statements as neutral and refer only to you relationship. Don’t say stuff like “you never say anything nice” because then they might try to bargain their way back into your life. You can say things like “this relationship isn’t working” or “it doesn’t feel right”. Also avoid clichés altogether. Nobody likes them and nobody likes to be patronized. You don’t want to sound like you’re showing them pity and the best way to show them pity would be, “you can do better than me” or “it’s not you it’s me”. Don’t make statements like “we can still be friends”, it may be possible in the future but right now the wound is way too deep for that.
6. If at all you feel like you’re getting swamped with emotions just calm down and relax. If you let yourself flow away with emotions then sensible thinking and reasoning fly out the window and 9 out 10 times you will end up doing as exactly the opposite of what we might classify as sensible or even remotely logical. Remain calm, because that’ll help you think clearly and talk clearly.
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